it's ash wednesday and I'm gay
Mar. 6th, 2019 02:18 pmI literally got off to such a good start this morning. I didn't make it to 7am service but I'm just gonna go to the hungover one at 6pm instead, I got up at a semi-reasonable hour, I didn't use any phone apps until I'd been up for an hour, I watered my plants, I did a rosary, and then.... then I saw the Good Omens trailer and I've been in gay agony ever since. RIP my yoga class that I completely skipped, RIP all the cleaning I was supposed to do today, I can only Languish.
the earth welcomes you: illustration
Mar. 6th, 2019 12:59 pm last night I was talking about the earth welcomes you and how Crowley and Aziraphale get a million stupid 90s family portraits done by their tacky older lesbian photographer friend (because queer families survive in the 90s by surrounding themselves with other queer families). but then I made a joke about how Crowley's probably a little sad they never did a dumb pregnancy shoot because that was before they found friends and settled in and became safe and then I accidentally made myself sad and so I resolved to fix it for them with a Polaroid and a self-timer.
the earth welcomes you can be found on ao3 here.
Scene transcription:
Crowley was lounged more or less comfortably on the couch, paging through a maternity magazine.
"The humans do all sorts of funny photos for this sort of thing," he said absently. "When was the last time you had your portrait done, angel?"
"Oh, around 1912, I believe."
There was a long silence, Crowley staring at the open pages without moving.
"Do you ever think about how we don't get any do-overs anymore?"
Aziraphale huffed, leaned over to take the magazine away.
"Don't get maudlin, my dear. Come on, I have an idea."
the earth welcomes you can be found on ao3 here.
Scene transcription:
Crowley was lounged more or less comfortably on the couch, paging through a maternity magazine.
"The humans do all sorts of funny photos for this sort of thing," he said absently. "When was the last time you had your portrait done, angel?"
"Oh, around 1912, I believe."
There was a long silence, Crowley staring at the open pages without moving.
"Do you ever think about how we don't get any do-overs anymore?"
Aziraphale huffed, leaned over to take the magazine away.
"Don't get maudlin, my dear. Come on, I have an idea."
another old snippet - 2012
Mar. 4th, 2019 01:25 pmfrom the same story as the lucifer scene-- featuring human main character Switch, the immortal half-demon husbands Carmine and Murray, one of my favorite Gabriels, and A Fuckton Of Wings. this eventually got cut because I changed up Gabriel's position in the story. by the time I stopped working on it, Gabriel had fallen before the events of the story began, and Carmine and Murray became a lot less important. the incredibly obvious spn influence on the dialogue is extremely embarrassing please don't @ me on it
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( Read more... )lucifer snippet circa 2011-12
Feb. 28th, 2019 01:30 pmalternate title: my teenage ocs were absolutely balls to the wall bonkers and I love them
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alternate alternate title: I didn't even reread this before I posted it pls don't let my Teenage Melodrama put you off because I am absolutely the same person today just with slightly more self control
They went to meet her in a field, Lucrece, Elemiah, and Caoimhe, down a warren of private roads far enough from anything to be hidden from passers-by. It was a jarringly casual setting for a meeting that normally took years of preparation to dig up all the right chants and sigils, raise a sacrifice and make the space ready for her--but this time, she was coming for them, and the only thing to do was watch. Which, ultimately, was how a being like Lucifer preferred it. For all the power she’d made for herself, she could still do nothing better than put on a damn good show.
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the other one
Feb. 1st, 2019 06:20 pm[just for fun, here's the other doc saved as "implications of apocalypse." they're very clearly not the same story and this one is also clearly unfinished, but while I'm out here with my doomed lesbian michael/lucifer conspiracy theories.]
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implications of apocalypse
Feb. 1st, 2019 06:16 pm[I have a folder called "angels" in my google drive and it has two documents with this exact same name. they're both about Michael and Lucifer but are otherwise completely different. I only remember writing this one with any specificity. who knows what that's about.]
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In the beginning, when we were born but not yet made, I watch xem. Michael is as dark and powerful and terrible as the deepest parts of the sea, which below us newly thrashes in its cradle of tectonic rock, but quick and nimble as its edges. I want xem to roll me across xer seafloor until my edges are worn smooth as glass. I want the immensity of xem to crush me to sand.
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L. I just want to be looked at. I think that's what it is.
Her open palms face the sky, moonlight filling in the creases there.
M. I'm looking at you.
L. No. I don't want to be looked at. I want to make myself the perfect picture and I want everyone to look at that, with me suspended in the center of it. An exquisite model of glass and light. And I want to hang there and never leave. I want to be perfectly, archetypically understood. Darling, I want.
M. But that won't be you.
L. Good.
She closes her fists around the moon's dim reflection in them.
L. Good. Being myself like that would be unbearable.
M. I'll miss you.
Her voice is a peace offering on a gossamer string, too thin and tremulous to hold.
L. Yes, and won't that be beautiful too? Because you won't miss me, not after long enough. Eventually, I'll be the picture to you as well, and there will be nothing left of me in the universe to hurt. To really exist... my heart, it's impossible, and all the versions of myself held in the minds of others, all those versions out there pretending at existence, I can feel them scattered across the stars, and it just hurts too much. I simply can't bear it anymore, not for anyone.
M. It isn't enough for you?
L. No, darling. Not nearly enough.
L. I want.
A string snaps, and a thousand million strings in each scattered star echo the sound.
Her open palms face the sky, moonlight filling in the creases there.
M. I'm looking at you.
L. No. I don't want to be looked at. I want to make myself the perfect picture and I want everyone to look at that, with me suspended in the center of it. An exquisite model of glass and light. And I want to hang there and never leave. I want to be perfectly, archetypically understood. Darling, I want.
M. But that won't be you.
L. Good.
She closes her fists around the moon's dim reflection in them.
L. Good. Being myself like that would be unbearable.
M. I'll miss you.
Her voice is a peace offering on a gossamer string, too thin and tremulous to hold.
L. Yes, and won't that be beautiful too? Because you won't miss me, not after long enough. Eventually, I'll be the picture to you as well, and there will be nothing left of me in the universe to hurt. To really exist... my heart, it's impossible, and all the versions of myself held in the minds of others, all those versions out there pretending at existence, I can feel them scattered across the stars, and it just hurts too much. I simply can't bear it anymore, not for anyone.
M. It isn't enough for you?
L. No, darling. Not nearly enough.
L. I want.
A string snaps, and a thousand million strings in each scattered star echo the sound.
I was overwhelmed with the urge to draw a scene from the earth welcomes you even though I... cannot draw.... so I did anyway
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more Lucifer??
Jan. 10th, 2019 12:07 am I was rewatching my fave Lucifer episodes today to avoid rewatching spn episodes and bemoaning the fact that 1) the show only really hit its apex of what I personally wanted it to be in its last finale 2) somehow STILL Lucifer and Chloe didn't manage to work their shit out by that point and 3) that's all I was ever gonna get, because it was cancelled. HOWEVER. I have just discovered that Netflix picked it back up for a fourth series!
Several things I feel about this:
First, this bit from an article has me really excited.
Joe Henderson and Idly Modrovich recently spoke to about the unlimited possibilities, reminiscing about one nearly-nude scene that they wish could have gone further on Fox. "Things like that we might be able to get away with while not feeling like I can’t watch it with my ‘tween daughter," Modrovich told TV Line. "Our blood can be a little more real, our horror can be a little more horror-y," Henderson continued. "It will all stay within the language of the show, but we’re definitely going to embrace the little things like that, that I think make a big difference."
Given that I'm a slut for horror and lack of fantasticality is one of the elements that was disappointing to me about the show, AND that I've never wanted a man-shaped being and a woman to bang as much as I want Chloe and Lucifer to bang, this is fucking thrilling.
However, second, I did really like the finale far more than I've liked most of the entire rest of the show, so I feel like any continuation will inevitably disappoint me. I'm a little bit okay with that, though, because I'm into all these characters enough to just want more content regardless. I especially hope they take the network-free opportunity to make Mazikeen more demon-y. My other big disappointment is that I love what they've done with her character but hate that they never took it far enough for me (mostly the fact that she has a whole human face 99% of the time).
Finally, idiot horny brain is just ready for Lucifer and Chloe to make out for three hours on screen so as long as they don't take me back to slow burn town for another 20 episodes... I'm ready. Of course, it's another nebulous "sometime in 2019" release date; shoutout to literally every television happening that I care about for occurring Sometime In 2019.
...also, I just want to stress how hilarious it is to me that I ended up caring about this show enough to be excited. I thought I was going to love it when I first heard about it, then I realized it was essentially a procedural romcom and hated it, then got sucked back in and by putting aside the comic source baggage was able to actually enjoy it. And then I got genuinely and DEEPLY invested in an m/f slow burn rife with miscommunication. A collection of all of my least favorite things! And yet. And yet...
Let Chloe And Lucifer Fuck 2019
oh shit editing a third time to say: maybe being off a network means more gay?? I changed my mind they can slow burn Chloe/Lucifer just long enough for Lucifer to be bisexual for more than half a second just to say they did. And... Let Maze And The Therapist Fuck 2019!!!!
Several things I feel about this:
First, this bit from an article has me really excited.
Joe Henderson and Idly Modrovich recently spoke to about the unlimited possibilities, reminiscing about one nearly-nude scene that they wish could have gone further on Fox. "Things like that we might be able to get away with while not feeling like I can’t watch it with my ‘tween daughter," Modrovich told TV Line. "Our blood can be a little more real, our horror can be a little more horror-y," Henderson continued. "It will all stay within the language of the show, but we’re definitely going to embrace the little things like that, that I think make a big difference."
Given that I'm a slut for horror and lack of fantasticality is one of the elements that was disappointing to me about the show, AND that I've never wanted a man-shaped being and a woman to bang as much as I want Chloe and Lucifer to bang, this is fucking thrilling.
However, second, I did really like the finale far more than I've liked most of the entire rest of the show, so I feel like any continuation will inevitably disappoint me. I'm a little bit okay with that, though, because I'm into all these characters enough to just want more content regardless. I especially hope they take the network-free opportunity to make Mazikeen more demon-y. My other big disappointment is that I love what they've done with her character but hate that they never took it far enough for me (mostly the fact that she has a whole human face 99% of the time).
Finally, idiot horny brain is just ready for Lucifer and Chloe to make out for three hours on screen so as long as they don't take me back to slow burn town for another 20 episodes... I'm ready. Of course, it's another nebulous "sometime in 2019" release date; shoutout to literally every television happening that I care about for occurring Sometime In 2019.
...also, I just want to stress how hilarious it is to me that I ended up caring about this show enough to be excited. I thought I was going to love it when I first heard about it, then I realized it was essentially a procedural romcom and hated it, then got sucked back in and by putting aside the comic source baggage was able to actually enjoy it. And then I got genuinely and DEEPLY invested in an m/f slow burn rife with miscommunication. A collection of all of my least favorite things! And yet. And yet...
Let Chloe And Lucifer Fuck 2019
oh shit editing a third time to say: maybe being off a network means more gay?? I changed my mind they can slow burn Chloe/Lucifer just long enough for Lucifer to be bisexual for more than half a second just to say they did. And... Let Maze And The Therapist Fuck 2019!!!!
prompted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mirawonderfulstar from this list
[thank u for this prompt, I'm gay and I miss them]
Dean woke feeling far more warm, safe, and comfortable than his fallen-asleep left arm and cricked neck gave him a right to be. Cas was squashed into the forward curve of Dean's body, pressed close to fit them both on the couch. David Attenborough was still speaking soothingly from the TV across the room, but quieter than the last time Dean was awake. Cas must have turned it down when he realized Dean was asleep.
For a moment, Dean thought Cas was sleeping too. He could feel Cas's chest expanding with his slow, even breaths, but from his position crammed into the corner of the couch he couldn't see his face. His free arm, the one not currently dead to the world, was slung over Cas's chest, and just as Dean had resigned himself to dying here on this couch to avoid waking him, Cas shifted to pull that arm closer. Dean opened his mouth to say something about getting up, then stopped when he felt lips on the sensitive skin just below his palm. He expected to feel tongue or teeth next, but Cas's lips just stayed there, dry and growing warmer with the contact.
"Cas?" he finally croaked, voice still dry with sleep. Cas started guiltily, caught in the sort of tenderness that a fully conscious Dean would brush off before it could take. "Whatcha doing?"
"I like to feel your pulse," came the eventual, sheepish answer. Dean's first instinct was to say something sarcastic, yeah that's not weird at all, but folded up behind Cas, hidden from searching gazes and soft from the comfort of safety and touch, he just thought of every time he'd worried over Cas's pulse, looked at him still and broken on the ground or vanished from a scorched spot on a prophet's wall.
"Yeah, okay," he said, tucking his nose into the hollow place at the back of Cas's head and closing his eyes again. When he didn't feel Cas's lips return to his wrist, he nudged him with his nose. "No need to stop."
mirawonderfulstar from this list[thank u for this prompt, I'm gay and I miss them]
Dean woke feeling far more warm, safe, and comfortable than his fallen-asleep left arm and cricked neck gave him a right to be. Cas was squashed into the forward curve of Dean's body, pressed close to fit them both on the couch. David Attenborough was still speaking soothingly from the TV across the room, but quieter than the last time Dean was awake. Cas must have turned it down when he realized Dean was asleep.
For a moment, Dean thought Cas was sleeping too. He could feel Cas's chest expanding with his slow, even breaths, but from his position crammed into the corner of the couch he couldn't see his face. His free arm, the one not currently dead to the world, was slung over Cas's chest, and just as Dean had resigned himself to dying here on this couch to avoid waking him, Cas shifted to pull that arm closer. Dean opened his mouth to say something about getting up, then stopped when he felt lips on the sensitive skin just below his palm. He expected to feel tongue or teeth next, but Cas's lips just stayed there, dry and growing warmer with the contact.
"Cas?" he finally croaked, voice still dry with sleep. Cas started guiltily, caught in the sort of tenderness that a fully conscious Dean would brush off before it could take. "Whatcha doing?"
"I like to feel your pulse," came the eventual, sheepish answer. Dean's first instinct was to say something sarcastic, yeah that's not weird at all, but folded up behind Cas, hidden from searching gazes and soft from the comfort of safety and touch, he just thought of every time he'd worried over Cas's pulse, looked at him still and broken on the ground or vanished from a scorched spot on a prophet's wall.
"Yeah, okay," he said, tucking his nose into the hollow place at the back of Cas's head and closing his eyes again. When he didn't feel Cas's lips return to his wrist, he nudged him with his nose. "No need to stop."
hello I'm back! plus fic prompts
Jan. 9th, 2019 03:44 pm I survived finals and winter break! I have received two grades so far (my first ever A+ in my favorite class with my favorite professor, and a B- in evidence when I genuinely thought there was a nonzero chance I failed that class!).
While I was gone, the reveal happened for the Good Omens Holiday Exchange-- you can find my reposted work on Ao3 here. I had so much fun with that and I'm glad thatholoxam enjoyed it!
School starts back up for me next Monday and I'm literally already behind, but trying not to worry about it too much. I feel worlds better about it since receiving those grades. Honestly, after that A+ and knowing I didn't feel evidence, who gives a fuck what the rest of my grades are?
Finally, I yanked a list of kiss prompts from Tumblr for people to give me. I'd love to write them for A/C, deancas, or my OCs, but you can prompt any characters and if I know them I'll give it a shot.mirawonderfulstar has already prompted me number 11 on Tumblr for deancas in a delightful indulgence of my nostalgia, so I'll be writing that and putting it up here in a bit. Hopefully it will keep me from rereading The Sacred and the Profane today as I've been having a weird urge to do all day, but... probably not.
How was everyone else's new year?
( prompt list here )
While I was gone, the reveal happened for the Good Omens Holiday Exchange-- you can find my reposted work on Ao3 here. I had so much fun with that and I'm glad that
holoxam enjoyed it!School starts back up for me next Monday and I'm literally already behind, but trying not to worry about it too much. I feel worlds better about it since receiving those grades. Honestly, after that A+ and knowing I didn't feel evidence, who gives a fuck what the rest of my grades are?
Finally, I yanked a list of kiss prompts from Tumblr for people to give me. I'd love to write them for A/C, deancas, or my OCs, but you can prompt any characters and if I know them I'll give it a shot.
mirawonderfulstar has already prompted me number 11 on Tumblr for deancas in a delightful indulgence of my nostalgia, so I'll be writing that and putting it up here in a bit. Hopefully it will keep me from rereading The Sacred and the Profane today as I've been having a weird urge to do all day, but... probably not.How was everyone else's new year?
( prompt list here )I went to go catch up, because I'm an idiot. I would really love it if the CW would paywall itself so I could stop doing this. Maybe swap with FX since I genuinely want to watch a lot of FX shows that I can't get to because I don't have a TV provider. But anyway.
This season is just so absolutely fucking stupid! Everything is dumb and bad! I'm only here to keep tabs on the idiot who ruined my life, Castiel, and they're about to keep me waiting for his other shoe to drop for who knows how long. His whole thing now is that the thing that rules the dimension where dead angels go, called the Empty, wants him back, and in order to get his adopted antichrist son back he agreed. Except the Empty was like "oooh, I'll only come for you when you finally give yourself permission to be happy, ooooh~" and LITERALLY WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. JOKE'S ON YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, CAS IS A PROFESSIONAL MASOCHIST AND HAS BEEN DEPRESSED FOR YEARS, HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ALMOST EVERYONE IN HIS LIFE IS TOXIC, THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT HIM IS LITERALLY ONLY TWO CHRONOLOGICAL YEARS OLD. THERE IS NO SCENARIO IN WHICH HE IS GOING TO "GIVE HIMSELF PERMISSION TO BE HAPPY." SO HE'S FUCKING SAFE. DUMBASS.
Which of course! Means I'm still stuck checking up on him. Because this is the sort of narrative shoe they could try to artificially drop next month, or the sort that they could just sort of forget is still up there because it would be completely plausible for Cas to never give himself permission to be happy in the entire lifespan of the show. In-universe, I could buy that maybe, 5000 years from now or something, Cas relaxes for a hot second and the Empty shows up and is like ooh haha bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. It would be entirely plausible of them to never come back to this plot point ever again. Alternatively, they could pull it at the end of the season, although god knows how they'll make that seem in character. They could do some sort of time skip. Whatever. Anything could happen. It isn't as if they care about good characterization or plot development anyway, so I guess they can really do whatever they want.
Anyway, I have a month of rest while they go on end of year hiatus. The midseason finale ended on a cliffhanger so at least I can be reasonably certain there will be something interesting happening for a moment before they go back to shitty pacing that doesn't pick up until the finale.
Everything sucks and is bad. So glad I have this to focus on instead of my impending legal ethics failure tomorrow morning. I've decided that I'm probably just not going to sleep tonight while I try to glean literally anything helpful from my study materials, but I actually have zero idea how to study for this test or what to expect on it, so at this point I'm just very resigned to whatever happens. At least I'm secure in the fact that everyone else in that class is as confused as I am.
Fucke.
This season is just so absolutely fucking stupid! Everything is dumb and bad! I'm only here to keep tabs on the idiot who ruined my life, Castiel, and they're about to keep me waiting for his other shoe to drop for who knows how long. His whole thing now is that the thing that rules the dimension where dead angels go, called the Empty, wants him back, and in order to get his adopted antichrist son back he agreed. Except the Empty was like "oooh, I'll only come for you when you finally give yourself permission to be happy, ooooh~" and LITERALLY WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. JOKE'S ON YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, CAS IS A PROFESSIONAL MASOCHIST AND HAS BEEN DEPRESSED FOR YEARS, HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ALMOST EVERYONE IN HIS LIFE IS TOXIC, THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT HIM IS LITERALLY ONLY TWO CHRONOLOGICAL YEARS OLD. THERE IS NO SCENARIO IN WHICH HE IS GOING TO "GIVE HIMSELF PERMISSION TO BE HAPPY." SO HE'S FUCKING SAFE. DUMBASS.
Which of course! Means I'm still stuck checking up on him. Because this is the sort of narrative shoe they could try to artificially drop next month, or the sort that they could just sort of forget is still up there because it would be completely plausible for Cas to never give himself permission to be happy in the entire lifespan of the show. In-universe, I could buy that maybe, 5000 years from now or something, Cas relaxes for a hot second and the Empty shows up and is like ooh haha bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. It would be entirely plausible of them to never come back to this plot point ever again. Alternatively, they could pull it at the end of the season, although god knows how they'll make that seem in character. They could do some sort of time skip. Whatever. Anything could happen. It isn't as if they care about good characterization or plot development anyway, so I guess they can really do whatever they want.
Anyway, I have a month of rest while they go on end of year hiatus. The midseason finale ended on a cliffhanger so at least I can be reasonably certain there will be something interesting happening for a moment before they go back to shitty pacing that doesn't pick up until the finale.
Everything sucks and is bad. So glad I have this to focus on instead of my impending legal ethics failure tomorrow morning. I've decided that I'm probably just not going to sleep tonight while I try to glean literally anything helpful from my study materials, but I actually have zero idea how to study for this test or what to expect on it, so at this point I'm just very resigned to whatever happens. At least I'm secure in the fact that everyone else in that class is as confused as I am.
Fucke.
(no subject)
Dec. 19th, 2018 04:16 pmsomeday I am going to write the catharsis fic that I want to write where I deal with my excruciating abdominal pain by stabbing some sort of durable character in the stomach (let’s be real it’s probably going to be Crowley) and have them taken care of. owwwwww.
first, some threshold items:
1. Supernatural sucks. It has had every opportunity to not suck, and it never took the chance.
2. Supernatural was originally intended to end at the conclusion of season five. They got renewed unexpectedly and it's been downhill ever since. They are now on season 13 and anything I ever liked about the show has disintegrated. Every so often I go back and see what's going on on the off chance that I won't hate it. I always do.
3. There are some really beautiful golden story threads to be drawn out of the first five seasons of Supernatural. There are some dingy but still faintly shining story threads to be drawn out of seasons 6-10, ish. I don't think I've found anything redeemable about it since then.
4. I cannot in good conscience recommend that anyone watches this show through season five with some bonus material from season six. I expressly forbid anyone to watch past season six based on anything I say ever.
with that out of the way, here is how I would watch Supernatural if I were going to dig out everything that's kept me watching the show for so long and ditch the majority, if not all, of the stupid bullshit. I'm going to do these by season for the first six (season six honestly deserves its own explanation post for why I put up with it at all) and then after that I imagine I'll only need one or two posts to cover the ten or so episodes I can recommend post-s6.
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1. Supernatural sucks. It has had every opportunity to not suck, and it never took the chance.
2. Supernatural was originally intended to end at the conclusion of season five. They got renewed unexpectedly and it's been downhill ever since. They are now on season 13 and anything I ever liked about the show has disintegrated. Every so often I go back and see what's going on on the off chance that I won't hate it. I always do.
3. There are some really beautiful golden story threads to be drawn out of the first five seasons of Supernatural. There are some dingy but still faintly shining story threads to be drawn out of seasons 6-10, ish. I don't think I've found anything redeemable about it since then.
4. I cannot in good conscience recommend that anyone watches this show through season five with some bonus material from season six. I expressly forbid anyone to watch past season six based on anything I say ever.
with that out of the way, here is how I would watch Supernatural if I were going to dig out everything that's kept me watching the show for so long and ditch the majority, if not all, of the stupid bullshit. I'm going to do these by season for the first six (season six honestly deserves its own explanation post for why I put up with it at all) and then after that I imagine I'll only need one or two posts to cover the ten or so episodes I can recommend post-s6.
( Read more... )more tumblr nonsense
Dec. 19th, 2018 11:30 amI just logged back in to my tumblr account to delete it and found that, after I manually unmarked it as explicit several days ago when the site was freezing me out from the messaging and ask functions, that it had been remarked as explicit permanently. (At least as permanently as the shitty code will allow, I'm aware of the glitch that lets you undo this.)
I had marked my blog as adult content at least a year ago, possibly more (I forget when exactly I created this incarnation, as I've had like seven tumblr accounts since 2010). My reasoning was partially the fewer people who can follow me the better (I'm just Like That) but also partially that I knew I posted about things like my mental health crises and other text-based topics that I didn't want the responsibility of teenagers seeing. I had never reblogged or posted sexually explicit image material to my blog.
I don't know if they re-flagged it because it had been flagged before and me turning off the flag meant nothing to them, or if the robots went wild on my selfies and other vaguely flesh-toned images. I didn't bother to find out because I was just there to delete the thing anyway. But if I needed validation of my decision to leave tumblr... well, lol.
I had marked my blog as adult content at least a year ago, possibly more (I forget when exactly I created this incarnation, as I've had like seven tumblr accounts since 2010). My reasoning was partially the fewer people who can follow me the better (I'm just Like That) but also partially that I knew I posted about things like my mental health crises and other text-based topics that I didn't want the responsibility of teenagers seeing. I had never reblogged or posted sexually explicit image material to my blog.
I don't know if they re-flagged it because it had been flagged before and me turning off the flag meant nothing to them, or if the robots went wild on my selfies and other vaguely flesh-toned images. I didn't bother to find out because I was just there to delete the thing anyway. But if I needed validation of my decision to leave tumblr... well, lol.
another prime use of this journal is going to be to foist my OCs off on everyone. I'm not sure that Ishturiel and Belial will ever make it into a coherent story that I could submit anywhere, but I love them very much and have been writing quite a lot about them. Belial is a prince of hell and Ishturiel is a low-ranked angel and they have been married for eons. Belial spends a lot of time getting Ishturiel out of dumb situations because Ishturiel is very sweet and kind but not really the brightest and certainly not the most powerful celestial being that has ever existed. Belial might get made fun of more in Hell for being married to zir except that Belial is a prince and can just eat anyone who tries.
This snippet isn't about Ishturiel getting stuck somewhere stupid and needing rescuing, though. this is something I wrote during a fit of really bad dysphoria as catharsis for how bad it felt to have a human body at the time. it's very hurt/comfort. it's also when I decided that Ishturiel's job is divine inspiration of self-love in trans people.
also, there's a pic I drew of them at the bottom. also also, I hope the cut I tried to use worked properly this time.
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This snippet isn't about Ishturiel getting stuck somewhere stupid and needing rescuing, though. this is something I wrote during a fit of really bad dysphoria as catharsis for how bad it felt to have a human body at the time. it's very hurt/comfort. it's also when I decided that Ishturiel's job is divine inspiration of self-love in trans people.
also, there's a pic I drew of them at the bottom. also also, I hope the cut I tried to use worked properly this time.
( Read more... )because if I write this all at once then I’ll never write my paper, stay tuned for part two.
pulled off my dead tumblr blog because I haven't forgotten and I do intend to post part two! also functions as me learning how to format on dw.
First off, it’s important to note that as a polytheist, I am extremely not a reconstructionist. there’s a way of doing polytheism for any historical tradition that involves a lot of serious research not only into the original myths but also into any existing evidence about how the religion was historically practiced: archaeology, written records, surviving traditions in the region, even place names can give you insight into historical practices. it’s really cool! but it has nothing to do with how I practice.
instead, I see Norse mythology as a living, changing canon. it stemmed from those original oral traditions, but it also encompasses the Eddas, it encompasses modern translations and adaptations, it even encompasses the random internet musings of practitioners. in this way, Loki gained aspects that have very little historical evidence (a patron of queer and trans people, new epithets like Worldbreaker and Mother of Monsters, etc) and the stories themselves continue to grow and change (new interpretations of tiny snippets like the story of Loki eating the heart from the fireplace and giving birth to all the witches of the world– I think this entire story comes from like, a single sentence in some original source).
so I’ve only ever read direct translations of the Eddas like… twice, maybe? I’ve certainly never learned them in anything like the original language. mostly my knowledge comes from academic sources and modern retellings. I chomp these down and recreate them into my own functional canon of myths. the thing that’s really neat about this kind of polytheism is that, completely differently from the way it was originally practiced, it’s become something highly individual. my canon is completely different from anyone else’s. the most important stories in my canon are either based on very tiny historical snippets that I’ve fleshed out largely through my own dreams, or have the events of the Eddas but with very different connotations. Ragnarok falls into the latter category, and I’ll explain how I interpret that story after I’ve done some actual schoolwork!
pulled off my dead tumblr blog because I haven't forgotten and I do intend to post part two! also functions as me learning how to format on dw.
First off, it’s important to note that as a polytheist, I am extremely not a reconstructionist. there’s a way of doing polytheism for any historical tradition that involves a lot of serious research not only into the original myths but also into any existing evidence about how the religion was historically practiced: archaeology, written records, surviving traditions in the region, even place names can give you insight into historical practices. it’s really cool! but it has nothing to do with how I practice.
instead, I see Norse mythology as a living, changing canon. it stemmed from those original oral traditions, but it also encompasses the Eddas, it encompasses modern translations and adaptations, it even encompasses the random internet musings of practitioners. in this way, Loki gained aspects that have very little historical evidence (a patron of queer and trans people, new epithets like Worldbreaker and Mother of Monsters, etc) and the stories themselves continue to grow and change (new interpretations of tiny snippets like the story of Loki eating the heart from the fireplace and giving birth to all the witches of the world– I think this entire story comes from like, a single sentence in some original source).
so I’ve only ever read direct translations of the Eddas like… twice, maybe? I’ve certainly never learned them in anything like the original language. mostly my knowledge comes from academic sources and modern retellings. I chomp these down and recreate them into my own functional canon of myths. the thing that’s really neat about this kind of polytheism is that, completely differently from the way it was originally practiced, it’s become something highly individual. my canon is completely different from anyone else’s. the most important stories in my canon are either based on very tiny historical snippets that I’ve fleshed out largely through my own dreams, or have the events of the Eddas but with very different connotations. Ragnarok falls into the latter category, and I’ll explain how I interpret that story after I’ve done some actual schoolwork!
